Tuesday, June 06, 2006

My life: The showdown

Previous installments of this autobiographical series are available in the right-hand rail, under the heading "Mugsy's Biography."

Chapter XV
Word spread around the pound that the Chew Toy Mafia had issued an ultimatum. As I walked to breakfast, all eyes were on me. Would I give in to Hedgie's demands? Do you really have to ask? I wasn't about to surrender my hard-earned rawhide. The deadline came and went, and nothing happened. Sure, the CTMs gave me some menacing stares. But days passed, and they did nothing. Life seemed to be getting back to normal, or at least as normal as it could be behind bars. But I suppose I should have known that Hedgie wouldn't simply let it slide.




1. I had just finished pumping iron in the rec room, giving my "guns" a nice workout. I was about to head back to my cell when Hedgie appeared before me.
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2. I could see the rage in his beady little eyes. He was taunting me with his stare. This could only end one way.
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3. It was on! I leapt forward, my legs flailing as I locked onto my target. He rushed forward to engage me in combat.
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4. In one swift and savage motion, I clamped down on the back of Hedgie's head. My adrenaline was coursing through my veins. I was going to do whatever it took to defend my rawhide stash.
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5. I twisted, tightening my grip on his neck. Hedgie's fearsome reputation wasn't doing him much good now.
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6. I worked my way around his body, my jaws clenching. He kicked at me in a last-gasp attempt to escape. I grabbed his leg and began to gnaw.
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7. Finally, I dropped his limp body to the rec-room floor. I spat out his front leg and swallowed the tiny cotton fibers that clung to my razor-sharp teeth. One of Hedgie's underlings frantically ran to his side. "Somebody get a medic!" he cried.

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8. Does anybody else want a piece of me? I didn't think so.
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The moral of today's story: Stand up for yourself, and don't ever let anyone bully you -- especially when the bully is a 10th your size.

To be continued

8 comments:

Cairo The Boxer said...

I always defend myself. I am a very tough boxer.

by the way my mom likes the pics.

Anonymous said...

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, Bro. Mugsy, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

You should see all my enemies...I keep their semi-stuffed carcasses in a box in the sunroom and ever so often I pull one out and chew it up all over again.

Mama is kinda' upset with my habit of ripping these varmints to pieces and consuming a little fluff every once in awhile. She knows some pugs who have nearly died when they got, well, you know, like stopped-up pootie-pipes.

Gotta' go. It's raining here and I haven't seen rain in I can remember when.

J.B. daPug

Leslee said...

Your timing is always so amazing. It's like you know just when need messages like this one! Thank you.

wys said...

I have just discovered this wonderful blog. I know this is going to keep me up late tonight, but.... I love what I see so far LOL, and I know I'll stay up past my bed time enjoying this.

I have a dog named "Mugzie." She is 17 years old.

Great pics!

Brandi said...

Bam-Bam fights in much the same way oh wise one, though it is usually my arm that is on the receiving end of his punishment.

Boomer said...

Mugsy - you are brave indeed. No wonder you are our leader.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I am glad she liked the photos, Cairo. Thanks for stopping by the ministry.

I am not really sure what happens to my vanquished foes, J.B. But I occasionally happen upon one of them, and it is always quite startling.

You are welcome, Leslee. It is important for an ayatollah to keep his paw on the pulse of the ministry.

Thank you for visiting, Wys. I hope I did not interfere too much with your sleeping patterns. Give my best regards to Mugzie.

Brandi, might I recommend investing in an AKC Mallard from Target? It is the ultimate pug toy, and thus the ultimate arm saver.

Thank you, Boomer. I hope that my bravery will inspire you to wreak havoc on the next chew toy that stands in your way.

Buford said...

I have also vanquished a Hedgie, perhaps he was a cousin of your Hedgie. He now inhabits my roomy and comfortable Command Center, from which I run security sweeps on the home of my Goddess. I let him live, so he has now become my loyal servant, fetching me cookies and what not.

I am pleased that you have posted the photographic evidence of your battle. Now humans know that pugs do indeed have an unstoppable fighting technique.

Buford