Greetings, my loyal flock. I have returned from my long sabbatical, refreshed and ready to take the ministry to new heights. I took a leave of absence after undergoing surgery in late November, putting the day-to-day operation of Pug Life Ministries in the occasionally capable paws of my little brother, Wendell. He was tasked with providing regular updates on this blog and delivering a few simple sermons that I had prepared for him. Unfortunately, Wendell suffers from CADHD (Canine Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and after posting a few Holiday Gift Guide entries, he lost interest in the blog and began to focus on a new candy cane-shaped rawhide bone, among other distractions.
During my sabbatical, I took time to recharge my creative and spiritual batteries. I researched two new fatwas and laid the groundwork for an exciting new project for the ministry, the likes of which the world has never seen. God willing, I will soon have more information on this endeavor to share. And I also spent extra time with my harem mates, using the break to nurture and enhance our relationships while the ayatollahmobile was in the body shop to have some 9-iron-shaped dings and window breaks mended.
I am happy to be back, and I want to thank my loyal followers for the many notes of concern and support I received during my absence. I appreciated them greatly. (I would have appreciated them more had they been accompanied by monetary or Milkbone donations, but as mother always says at the dinner table, "Beggars can't be choosers.") I also want to thank the fashionable follower who purchased the first-ever Classic Harem-Wear Thong from the ministry gift shop. God willing, I will reclaim it someday and add it to my collection of sacred female undergarment relics.
Peace and belly rubs be upon you all, and may the fires of Satan never singe your whiskers.