Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Crash course

I have been in heated talks with Condoleezza Rice today. I must soon get back to these talks (I hesitate to call them negotiations, because some issues are simply non-negotiable from a pug perspective.) God willing, I will fill you in later on the details of my visit with Condi. But for now, I will share with you a story from one of the local newspapers. As usual, the news media got it wrong. I spent at least 40 minutes engaged in the "laying on of tongue" ritual.


DALLAS -- As the ambulance pulled up, it was a chaotic scene. The Honda Civic was badly mangled, its front end crumpled under the weight of an overturned semi-truck.

"I thought, 'There's no way the driver could have survived,'" said emergency medical technician Joey Redd. "It was the worst I've ever seen."

As Redd and fellow EMT Craig Goss approached the crash victim at the side of the Dallas North Tollway, they were stunned to see a small dog feverishly licking his belly button. The pug appeared to be wearing a blue turban, the paramedics said.

"I started to move the dog so that we could gain access to the victim, but then someone yelled for us to wait," said Goss. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was as if the life went right back into the victim's eyes as that little pug was licking him."

Witnesses say that after 15 minutes of nonstop licking, the pug stopped and sat upright. The dog then barked once, prompting the victim to rise to his feet.

"That guy got up and walked to the ambulance. We checked him out, and he was in perfect health," said Redd. "Just a few cuts and bruises. Somehow, that pug healed him."

Police sought to question the pug afterward, but witnesses said the dog vanished into the night. He is believed to be the enigmatic Ayatollah Mugsy, who is thought by followers to possess mystical healing abilities.

Representatives of the ayatollah's Pug Life Ministries did not return calls seeking comment.


Ms. Mamma said...

What an enigma!

Tyler said...

*bows in humility*

Enigmatic, indeed. And I thought I was the only one who could lick and lick and lick for hours on end.

Ms. Mamma said...

ayatollahmugsy- I just licked, I mean linked to you. spreading your message, paws up.
the chidler

JMG said...

Another testament to your greatness!

Anonymous said...

Miracles are always a good thing to have in a ministry. Way to go!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Thank you for spreading the message, Ms. Mamma and The Chidler.

Have you attempted navel licking, Tyler? Perhaps you, too, have mystical healing abilities.

Yes, JMG. I suppose it is.

Thank you, Anonymous One.

Leslee said...

I heard about that on the news this morning! But they totally left out the part of you being there!

Brody the Bulldog said...

Do you think it's the action of licking which promotes blood circulation thus reviving the patient or is it just the natural healing enzimes in the saliva?

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

It could be either one, Brody, but I prefer to ignore science in nearly all instances and simply think of it as a miracle.

Boomer said...

I wish you had e-mail Ayatollah. I found a book that I think your family might like. It's called Pug Hill written by Allison Pace. Check it out when you have a moment.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I have heard of that book, Boomer. Have you read it? I tried to find Pug Hill in Central Park while I was in New York, but I wasn't able to go at the right time. I do have an e-mail address, ayatollahmugsy@gmail.com