I had lunch today with my good friend Pope Pius Pug. Now, it may seem odd to you that a firebrand Muslim cleric like myself would befriend the leader of the Catholic Church. But the pope and I are actually partners in Pug Life Ministries. You see, one of the keys to running a successful business, er, church, is diversification. So Pug Life strives to be an interspecies, interdenominational ministry. Catholics, Protestants, Buddhists, Zoroastrians, Jews -- there's room in Pug Life Ministries for all of the infidels. Now, more about that lunch. Pug Life Ministries has grown by leaps and bounds, so much so that we've outgrown our current home, in my caretakers' living room. That's where you come in. With your help, god willing, we will be able to construct the mother of all religious compounds. Better even than David Koresh's swingin' Waco pad (pre-fire). Perhaps if you are as generous as you should be, we will be able to afford a sweet ride like Mr. Koresh's '68 Camaro to serve as my personal vehicle, befitting my status as supreme ayatollah of Pug Life. Allah would surely weep if you did not come through in the ministry's time of financial need. This is what the pope and I discussed today: Ways to make our dream of the Pug Life Dogloo compound a reality. Dogloo compound; sounds intriguing, doesn't it? I will be back soon with details on our monumental plans -- and information on how you can help.