Saturday, February 12, 2011

Tide turns on protesters

The chew toys were hopeful as their protests got under way. 

DALLAS (AP) -- Photos and news accounts have begun to trickle out from the chew toy demonstrations that launched during the last week of January. Journalists had been stymied by a series of crippling winter storms and a media crackdown by Ayatollah Mugsy, the autocratic dictator whose rule the stuffed toys have protested.

Evil Monkey was
believed to be a key
leader of the protests.
His current location
and condition are
"We expected the region to put its best foot forward and clear the ice off the roads quickly, especially with the Super Bowl in town," said Tim Overman, a photographer with The Associated Press. "Unfortunately, this did not happen. Perhaps now the city of Frisco has realized that sand and salt are needed for the roads, not piles of potting soil."

From the Dallas suburb's newly muddy streets has emerged a portrait of despair, as chew toys appear to be faltering badly in their bid to repeat the recent successes of protesters in Tunisia and Egypt. Chew toy refugees described a scene of carnage, and of hope lost. 

"We made a big mistake," wheezed one monkey, his voice barely audible thanks to a punctured squeaker suffered in the melee that ensued once Wendell the Pug awoke from his nap and raced outside to break up the demonstration. Wendell is the brother of Ayatollah Mugsy and a key figure in Pug Life Ministries. The monkey, who spoke on condition of anonymity, left a trail of cotton in the mud as he limped away. 

In the early hours of the protests, the chew toys felt emboldened by their lack of opposition. Many spoke of a "velvet revolution," in which their peaceful chants would lead to Ayatollah Mugsy's regime crumbling away. They did not anticipate the harsh retribution that awaited them. As Wendell swooped down on the scene on camelback and began dismembering the demonstrators in rapid succession, witnesses said, his mother began to blast the protesters with a water cannon. 

But neighbors, befuddled by the bizarre scene, said it was possible that the stuffed toys were merely "collateral damage" as she sought to water the plants. 

A next-door neighbor captured the only photos of the crackdown
on demonstrators. She called the scene "disturbing."