Monday, June 11, 2007

Sole obsession

Good day, faithful adherents of canine Islam. I regret that I have not had time to post in recent days, but I have been incredibly busy. With what, you ask? I have been suckling the monkey foot. By nursing at the toe of my stuffed monkey, I have gained incredible clarity, finding a place of zen, if you will. My intensity in these sessions with the monkey has grown legendary around the ayatollah compound. The outside world is of no concern to me; it is just me and the slobber-hardened monkey foot. So great is my single-minded focus that my mother has described it as "really creepy." But she is a mere human; how could she be expected to understand this higher plane of enlightenment? The humans have tried to capture a photo of these monkey-suckling, chi-channeling moments, but to no avail. The camera distracts me, and the moment is gone, quickly fleeting into memory like my morning kibble.

But I have found a photo here, in the ministry's archives. He is the orange-eyed primate to the left of the Blue Satan. Don't panic, however; I am not cavorting with the enemy. Intensive counseling sessions have broken the monkey of his revolutionary brainwashing. He was, deep down, a good monkey who fell in with the wrong crowd. And as a former juvenile delinquent, I understand as well as anyone the importance of a second chance. The monkey's sole allegiance is now to the ministry, and he has put his best foot forward to prove it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Mugsey! Now I know where my faithful husband is!

Have we named the monekey? I do hope the inlaws capture you on digitial camera or video VERY soon.

Aine

Anonymous said...

btw - part 2 - I was re-reading your biography and it might be momma's smart phone - but what happens in Jail at your conversion? I think we are missing that part of your glorious history?

Also my husband i am suprised you have not spoken about the whole paris hilton jail stories! I mean - someone has to comfort tinkerbell!

Xoxo Aine

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this is some kind of suppressed emotional reaction to the Sopranos Series Finale?

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

The monkey does not have a name, as per the terms of his probationary period.

The biography has not been fully written, although now that I think about it, I believe that the link is missing in the right-hand rail for the most recent chapter.

I am trying to be the only one in the country not talking about Paris Hilton.

I don't think so, Eagle and Ranger's mom. The monkey-suckling began before the final episode. Which I thought was excellent, by the way.

Balboa said...

You are funny dude! I have to check back and read more of your posts.

Frenchie Snorts
Balboa

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

May your day be filled with Milkbones and belly rubs, Balboa.