Monday, June 11, 2007

Sole obsession

Good day, faithful adherents of canine Islam. I regret that I have not had time to post in recent days, but I have been incredibly busy. With what, you ask? I have been suckling the monkey foot. By nursing at the toe of my stuffed monkey, I have gained incredible clarity, finding a place of zen, if you will. My intensity in these sessions with the monkey has grown legendary around the ayatollah compound. The outside world is of no concern to me; it is just me and the slobber-hardened monkey foot. So great is my single-minded focus that my mother has described it as "really creepy." But she is a mere human; how could she be expected to understand this higher plane of enlightenment? The humans have tried to capture a photo of these monkey-suckling, chi-channeling moments, but to no avail. The camera distracts me, and the moment is gone, quickly fleeting into memory like my morning kibble.

But I have found a photo here, in the ministry's archives. He is the orange-eyed primate to the left of the Blue Satan. Don't panic, however; I am not cavorting with the enemy. Intensive counseling sessions have broken the monkey of his revolutionary brainwashing. He was, deep down, a good monkey who fell in with the wrong crowd. And as a former juvenile delinquent, I understand as well as anyone the importance of a second chance. The monkey's sole allegiance is now to the ministry, and he has put his best foot forward to prove it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Mugsey! Now I know where my faithful husband is!

Have we named the monekey? I do hope the inlaws capture you on digitial camera or video VERY soon.

Aine

Anonymous said...

btw - part 2 - I was re-reading your biography and it might be momma's smart phone - but what happens in Jail at your conversion? I think we are missing that part of your glorious history?

Also my husband i am suprised you have not spoken about the whole paris hilton jail stories! I mean - someone has to comfort tinkerbell!

Xoxo Aine

Eagle & Ranger's Mom said...

Perhaps this is some kind of suppressed emotional reaction to the Sopranos Series Finale?

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

The monkey does not have a name, as per the terms of his probationary period.

The biography has not been fully written, although now that I think about it, I believe that the link is missing in the right-hand rail for the most recent chapter.

I am trying to be the only one in the country not talking about Paris Hilton.

I don't think so, Eagle and Ranger's mom. The monkey-suckling began before the final episode. Which I thought was excellent, by the way.

Balboa said...

You are funny dude! I have to check back and read more of your posts.

Frenchie Snorts
Balboa

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

May your day be filled with Milkbones and belly rubs, Balboa.