Good day, faithful adherents of canine Islam. I regret that I have not had time to post in recent days, but I have been incredibly busy. With what, you ask? I have been suckling the monkey foot. By nursing at the toe of my stuffed monkey, I have gained incredible clarity, finding a place of zen, if you will. My intensity in these sessions with the monkey has grown legendary around the ayatollah compound. The outside world is of no concern to me; it is just me and the slobber-hardened monkey foot. So great is my single-minded focus that my mother has described it as "really creepy." But she is a mere human; how could she be expected to understand this higher plane of enlightenment? The humans have tried to capture a photo of these monkey-suckling, chi-channeling moments, but to no avail. The camera distracts me, and the moment is gone, quickly fleeting into memory like my morning kibble.
But I have found a photo here, in the ministry's archives. He is the orange-eyed primate to the left of the Blue Satan. Don't panic, however; I am not cavorting with the enemy. Intensive counseling sessions have broken the monkey of his revolutionary brainwashing. He was, deep down, a good monkey who fell in with the wrong crowd. And as a former juvenile delinquent, I understand as well as anyone the importance of a second chance. The monkey's sole allegiance is now to the ministry, and he has put his best foot forward to prove it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.
6 comments:
Oh Mugsey! Now I know where my faithful husband is!
Have we named the monekey? I do hope the inlaws capture you on digitial camera or video VERY soon.
Aine
btw - part 2 - I was re-reading your biography and it might be momma's smart phone - but what happens in Jail at your conversion? I think we are missing that part of your glorious history?
Also my husband i am suprised you have not spoken about the whole paris hilton jail stories! I mean - someone has to comfort tinkerbell!
Xoxo Aine
Perhaps this is some kind of suppressed emotional reaction to the Sopranos Series Finale?
The monkey does not have a name, as per the terms of his probationary period.
The biography has not been fully written, although now that I think about it, I believe that the link is missing in the right-hand rail for the most recent chapter.
I am trying to be the only one in the country not talking about Paris Hilton.
I don't think so, Eagle and Ranger's mom. The monkey-suckling began before the final episode. Which I thought was excellent, by the way.
You are funny dude! I have to check back and read more of your posts.
Frenchie Snorts
Balboa
May your day be filled with Milkbones and belly rubs, Balboa.
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