I know that there has been great concern within Pug Life Ministries today over an incident involving Pope Pius Pug. Let me assure you all that he is doing well. The pontiff, head of Pug Life's Catholic wing and my longtime business partner, was going for a spin at the Vatican when a deranged man tried to jump into his popemobile. My sources in the Swiss Guard tell me that this man, a German, was screaming "I must feel the fur! The soft, soft fur!" as he reached out for the pope. Fortunately, members of the pope's ARF security detail were able to quickly wrestle the assailant to the ground, disorienting him with copious amounts of slobber before shackling him with a choke-chain collar. This man is now being transferred to Syrian custody for "interrogation."
5 comments:
I hope they're not too hard on him before they figure out his motives. People used to do the same thing to Jesus, hoping to be healed of their afflictions. Maybe he was doing the same.
Whew! Sounds like a scary moment. FAZ
p.s. I am sitting next to a German person as I type this but she seems very nice.
aren't you worried for your own safety, Wise One, with this rash of pug muggings?
Pippin
Once the slobber gets in their eyes, they are finished, TransplantedOkie.
If that is the case, JMG, I will personally perform the laying on of tongues ritual. I am a compassionate pug.
No chance of that, Fee.
I once tried to stow away in a German woman's suitcase so that I could spend some more time with her, Faz. I understand that most are not deranged.
Appropriate security measures are being taken, Pippin. I trust that my ARF bodyguards and my own jujitsu skills will protect me.
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