Sunday, September 17, 2006

This changes everything

Greetings, my faithful flock. I come before you today with startling news. I recently received an e-mail from my online friend Kevin, who in addition to being a master propagandist is also an amateur naturalist and evolutionary biologist. While sifting through some of Charles Darwin's archives, he made an earth-shattering discovery. But more on that in a moment.

Here at Pug Life Ministries, we have long rejected Darwin's theory of evolution and natural selection. Instead, we have promoted the well-researched, widely accepted Intelligent Design theory. Intelligent Design holds that life is too complex to fathom and thus must be the product of an intelligent creator. But in contrast to creationism, Intelligent Design does not risk violating the constitutional separation of church and state. We can teach children in public schools about Intelligent Design because we leave up in the air just who that designer might be. It could be aliens, or a Frankenstein-esque scientist, or the Easter Bunny. I suppose it could even be Allah (wink, wink). For these reasons, Intelligent Design has been an ideal theory for the ministry to support. And the fact that we have the phrase copyrighted and receive 50 cents every time it appears in a textbook, well, that is just gravy on the Milkbone.

But despite my longtime adherence to Intelligent Design, I have to admit that Kevin's find has me reconsidering everything. I must warn you: What I am about to show you could shake your belief system to its very core. I debated whether to expose you to this most jarring information, but I finally decided that it would be wrong to deprive the world of knowledge of this incredible discovery. Has Kevin uncovered the missing link in this lost page from Darwin's notebook? You decide.

8 comments:

T-man said...

This progression of the species appears to be a combination of evolution and Intelligent Design. It appears the creator is just upgrading to a more streamlined, more efficient, and better-looking model.

Anonymous said...

Finally good news. There is hope!!

Sunshade said...

Ditto what T-man said......

BTW, my mum is laughing her butt off on the ground right now, what's her problem??

Thanks for visiting my blog, if you like my blog and have a moment, please go to Awesome Blog Award at D.W.B Bone Zone and vote for me ok?

Love nibbles,
Miss Sunshade

JMG said...

I suspected as much.

fee said...

o, i your good student am all ears! please teach us more, great teacher!

your humble pupil,
fee

Leslee said...

:-)

of course...

Kukka-Maria said...

That's pretty accurate! Although, in my imagination, a cat appears after the pug, though.

It's all perspective, I guess. :wink:

Brandi said...

It's like the time that Jerry Seinfeld once joked that if aliens came down to earth and saw how humans treated their dogs, following them around, picking up their excrement in little plastic bags, it would be obvious that the dogs and not the humans were the dominant species. I think there is a lot of truth to it.