Thursday, September 21, 2006

Mugsy addresses U.N.

UNITED NATIONS (The New York Times) -- In a move that sent shockwaves through the diplomatic community, civil rights activist Ayatollah Mugsy addressed the U.N. General Assembly on Thursday to call for the release of the so-called Oregon Five.

Barking via videophone, the leader of Pug Life Ministries struck a defiant tone in demanding the release of the five prisoners accused of being members of his Armed Revolutionary Forces (ARF).

"These canines are not members of the ARF. I demand that they be released at once," the cleric said to the assembled delegates. "One way or another, they will be freed. Either you are with us or against us."

He described their detention at a Eugene, Ore., dog pound as a blatant violation of the Geneva Convention. Officials in Oregon contend they have broken up a coup plot and call the Oregon Five a danger to the community.

The General Assembly chamber was abuzz over the pug ayatollah's address. He first made news at the United Nations in April with his infamous shoe incident.

In his closing remarks, Ayatollah Mugsy told the Oregon officials to free the Oregon Five and let him take their place behind bars.

"I am the one you really want," he said.

7 comments:

Sarah O. said...

Oh, Mugsy, you can live under house arrest at my place!

Just don't get in the way of Ria's peanut butter filled Kong.

Boomer said...

Mugsy, you are willing to sacrifice yourself for the Oregon Five?

Ms. Mamma said...

Mugsy, please take one moment to see the new comrades I have recruited in my latest post. They are so sweet.

T-man said...

Ayatollah, your bravery puts me to shame. I can't even sit in a crate without whining and howling to get out. I hope you and the Oregon 5 wriggle your way out of this situation.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Thank you for your offer of a safehouse, Sarah O. I may need to take you up on that.

Yes, Boomer. If necessary, I am prepared to be a martyr for the canine race. Though it would be difficult, I would have 72 rawhide bones in heaven to console me.

Congratulations on your new furry children, Ms. Mamma. Frankie and Ginger are a sweet-looking pair. They are always welcome at the ministry.

Thank you for your good wishes, T-Man.

Thomas Peterson said...

I laud your strong position, Mugsy. You are a strong leader and I am sure your defiant barking will not only raise hackles but Get Things Done. If I may lend my negotiating skills or political influence in any way to help free the Oregon Five, do not hesitate to ask.

Zeus said...

I can only hope that this speech will influence those listening. I think you were a very brave pug to say those words, and even braver should it come to pass that they agree to do what you said.