Applications have begun to pour in for our new bodybuilder/evangelist positions with Team Pugforce. Among the applicants have been the world's strongest Pomeranian and Hollywood star Dolph Lundgren. But the most impressive application thus far has come from Brody the Bulldog. Federal labor laws do not permit me to post his resume, but you can find it on his blog, Bull by the Horns. Brody is co-captain of his dog park wrestling team and has an outstanding kill record (including 24 toys, four soccer balls and a television remote control). He also has no criminal record, which is more than I can say for myself. In short, Brody is vastly over-qualified for the position.
So Brody, I would like to offer you the position of supreme commander of the Armed Revolutionary Forces (ARF). We could use a bulldog like you to shape up our fighting forces and lay the groundwork for canine rule. There is no pay, per se, but you will be able to keep half the booty your troops plunder during military campaigns.