Monday, January 23, 2006

A message to the enemies of Pug Life

In recent days, we have witnessed a sharp rise in anti-Pug Life activity. Visionary leaders are often the targets of persecution, so I am not surprised by this. But that does not mean I will take attacks on my ministry lying down. Belly rubs, maybe. But not attacks. Witness this mangled piece of paper. This morning, it was a happy, healthy document, without a care in the world. But then it dared to carry an anti-pug message. Look at it now: It is a slobber-covered, shredded shell of its former self. Learn from the paper’s example.

These enemies may be motivated by religious intolerance. They may be anti-pugites. Or perhaps they are just cat people. Whatever the case, they must know that when I am provoked, my fury is unrelenting. I urge you, do not make me take out my banana hook.


Chackler said...

I shudder at the thought of the banana hook.

JMG said...

That looks like what Id like to do to some of my students' essays. Hanging them (the students) on the banana hook sounds like a good idea too.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Yes, Chackler, it is a fearsome implement of torture. But you, of course, have nothing to fear. I just had to send a message to these new enemies of the ministry, who are no doubt quaking in their boots. The banana hook is available for rental, JMG, but I would not advise using it on students who weigh over 10 pounds.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mugsy,

I'm a bit of a paper-shredding slobber-dobber myself, but living with two old lady-pugs has taught me immeasurable patience in dealing with opinionated old frumps.

You know how water rolls off a duck's back? That's how seriously I take it when the old ladies give me the evil eye...I play it cool! It drives 'em crazy everytime!!

James Beauregard DuPug

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Hi, James Beauregard. You sound like a wise pug. Welcome to the congregation. The truth is, I do let these things roll off my back. But I could not waste such an opportunity to demonstrate my paper-slaying prowess.

Tyler said...

Once again, I stand in awe of you, oh great one.