Friday, January 13, 2006

Help wanted

Wanted: Several burly bodybuilders to spread God’s word through feats of strength. Must be able to break multiple concrete blocks with fists, forearms, elbows, knees, feet and face. Must also be able to smash blocks of ice. Must be able to work well under pressure and be unafraid of pyrotechnics. Some team members will be asked to occasionally don a Kool-Aid Man costume, break through a brick wall, and offer spectators a sip of "Ayatollah Mugsy's Kool-Aid." Minimal acting skills required. Ability to rip a phonebook in half a plus.

Description: Team Pugforce is a new touring group that will use pyrotechnic displays and feats of strength to spread the word of Allah. Team Pugforce members will serve under the direction of Mugsy, supreme ayatollah of Pug Life Ministries.

Education: As little as possible.

Salary: Commensurate with education and experience in a canine-run ministry.

Must be willing to pass a positive steroid test. Unitards will be provided. Team Pugforce is an equal-opportunity employer.

7 comments:

Leslee said...

Well, I don't qualify for this job but hope you'll be coming to a city near me.

Dr. Mike Kear said...

I like to submit an application for Nucha. OK, so he's a Pomeranian. But he thinks he's big and mean!

JMG said...

Is it some kind of special Kool-Aid?

Sam I Am said...

Must be strong like bull!!! think positive.Make sure you get pictures,Go Mugsy

Tyler said...

That leaves Mom out. She uses steroid nasal spray.

Sometimes I eat the tissues from the trash. I may have ingested small quantities of steroid at one time. So... I am disqualified too. But wishing you luck 'cause it's a brilliant thing you are doing!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Fear not, Leslee, we will be touring nationwide.

If Nucha can perform all the required tasks, I'm sure he would make a fine member of Team Pugforce. A Pomeranian smashing a stack of concrete blocks would be most impressive.

Of course it is a special Kool-Aid, JMG. My customers, er, congregation would expect no less.

Sam I Am, you look like a strapping Weimaraner. I hope you will try out.

Tyler, I think you misunderstand. All applicants must pass a positive steroid test. Otherwise, we feel that they are not trying hard enough. We demand dedication.

Brody the Bulldog said...

Ayatollah - I hope you will consider taking a look at my resume, which I just posted on my blog.

Though, I must be up front - regarding the unitard, bullies are sensitive to chafing. Perhaps I could go undercover or don my black 'security' shirt?

Thanks in advance for your consideration,

Brody the Bulldog