Wanted: Several burly bodybuilders to spread God’s word through feats of strength. Must be able to break multiple concrete blocks with fists, forearms, elbows, knees, feet and face. Must also be able to smash blocks of ice. Must be able to work well under pressure and be unafraid of pyrotechnics. Some team members will be asked to occasionally don a Kool-Aid Man costume, break through a brick wall, and offer spectators a sip of "Ayatollah Mugsy's Kool-Aid." Minimal acting skills required. Ability to rip a phonebook in half a plus.
Description: Team Pugforce is a new touring group that will use pyrotechnic displays and feats of strength to spread the word of Allah. Team Pugforce members will serve under the direction of Mugsy, supreme ayatollah of Pug Life Ministries.
Education: As little as possible.
Salary: Commensurate with education and experience in a canine-run ministry.
Must be willing to pass a positive steroid test. Unitards will be provided. Team Pugforce is an equal-opportunity employer.