Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Mugsy issues fatwa
I have witnessed too many near-collisions, seen too many uncouth vertical travelers to remain silent a second longer. Let the word ring out throughout the Pug Life empire that I have issued a fatwa! When riding an elevator (or a lift, for our more syllabically economical British readers), it is the duty of all Pug Life faithful to wait for other passengers to disembark before boarding. Woe be upon the brute who storms through the doors at the first hint of daylight. Stand aside, let the passengers exit, and then board the elevator car. In case you had not noticed, the door stays open for a certain amount of time anyway. You will not reach your destination faster by rushing headlong into the car, risking a collision with unsuspecting passengers and possibly trampling children (or canine religious leaders) underfoot. Any cretin who dares to disobey this binding religious order should be prepared to see severe bite marks on his or her shins. That is the fate that awaits you should you storm onto my elevator car.
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3 comments:
People have no common sense. Whenever I am trying to exit the building where my office is located, I always use the right side of the double door. It just makes sense to keep right, like in traffic. But as soon as I open the door to go out, people (college students) try to come in that door instead of opening the other door--the door to their right.
Oh well. College students can't drive well either.
I have come this close to issuing a fatwa on that very subject. Especially after I went to the mall during the holiday shopping season and played chicken with countless oblivious shoppers.
The worst part is that they look at you like you are the one who should a) hold their door open, b) let them pass with all their ill-mannered friends, strollers with screaming children (the same ones they take to the movies), etc., and c) bow in humble thanks for being allowed to open the door for them and said entourage.
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