I have a confession to make, my befuddled flock. My Bowling Pug persona was merely an April Fool's joke. I believe that to be effective, a ministry must make at least an occasional attempt at humor. So why did I begin this ruse on March 30? A few reasons:
1. Some of our less devout Pug Lifers aren't daily readers, so I wanted to make sure I fooled a good number of congregants.
2. Our weekday readership is generally higher than our weekend readership (a sure sign of the productivity of the American workforce).
3. It just seemed sneakier that way.
So hopefully I fooled a few of you (I know of at least one fellow educator who found me out). In addition to providing holiday merriment, this exercise was intended to ferret out some of the enemies of Pug Life. The ultra-secret Kanine Gathering Bureau rounded up a half dozen humans who expressed elation at my apparent career change, and they have been sent to the appropriate re-education camps.
I thank those of you who supported me in my fictional bowling endeavor or offered Randy Quaid-related cautionary tales, and I commend the Armed Revolutionary Forces for maintaining order. Supreme Commander Brody is especially deserving of thanks. Not only did he think to declare martial law and a 6 p.m. curfew, but he also found the time for a little mountainside sculpting. Well done, Bro.