Friday, December 30, 2005

Break out the checkbooks

I have a big announcement today, my fellow creations of the intelligent designer that is Allah. This is an opportunity that many of you will not want to pass up. At long last, enrollment has begun for the first annual Ayatollah Mugsy's Youth Indoctrination Camp. This summer camp will take place July 8-15 at and around my Texas compound. Among the activities that await the first 40 lucky children and puppies to sign up:

  • Dog-paddle races across Lake Lewisville.
  • Archery. Children will learn to shoot an apple off of their fellow campers' heads. Of course, they will all be wearing turbans as part of their camp uniforms for added safety.
  • Multiple daily nap times.
  • Printmaking.
  • Intense religious instruction, with severe penalties for laggards.
  • Sumo wrestling.
  • Knitting-for-dogs lessons.
  • Daily rawhide-chewing sessions, to promote healthy teeth and gums.
  • Tug-of-war competitions.
  • Hazing.
  • Firearms training.

The camp's top performers may be eligible for membership in the prestigious Mugsy Youth. All campers will be expected to memorize the Quran and Mugsy's Manifesto, an 800-page treatise on canine Islam and pug nationalism, in advance. The fee is $550 for human children and $75 for puppies. Enrollment ends March 31, so don't delay. Space is limited. E-mail me or leave a comment for further details.

Ayatollah Mugsy and Pug Life Ministries are not responsible for the safety and welfare of campers. Additional fees for uniforms, food and rawhide apply. All payments are nonrefundable.


Anonymous said...

Is this for real? Becaue I LOVE printmaking.

Karen said...

Honored Mugsy, my only regret is that I have no children to enroll in this worthy event. I have, however, as a sign of my devotion, emailed this announcement to a number of my friends with children of their own. How can they possibly resist?

TransplantedOkie said...

This would be a financial hardship on us, but how can we NOT do this for our beloved Bob? God will provide.

Erin said...

Pansy is Episcopalian and would like to know what allowances will be made for for friends of Allah, as opposed to followers. She is especially interested in the archery, as she assumes that this will include an opposable thumb.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

It is real, anonymous one. And it is fantastic.

Karen, my disciple, they cannot possibly resist. Thank you for spreading the word

Episcopalians are welcome at Pug Life, Erin. We are all worshipping the same Allah. And besides, our indoctrination techniques are fool-proof. Just ask Bob.

Tyler said...

Happy New Year, oh wise one.

rpm said...

Our mama said we would be able to come to camp if only for the firearms training...we might shoot our eyes out. Is there a discount for multiple pugs?

Leslee said...

Mugsy, I had no idea that you were so willing to work with the youth of the world. My only regret is that I have neither a puppy nor a youth for my Peanut is much too young and Snoogans much too old.

Have a blessed new year!

Freda said...

Hey Mugsy,

Found your all-mighty site on Rockwell's blog. Your camp for the indoctrination of our country's ute sounds great but I can not attend. I am a member of DAC, Dog's Against Costumes. I wore a hat once and vowed never again.

Even though I will not be there this summer I will anxiously await each installment your teachin's.



Sam I Am said...

May you get all that you wish for in the New year,Thank you for sharing.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Welcome to the ministry, Freda. Woof to you, too.

I think that a discount for multiple pugs can be arranged. Say, 10 percent off?

Happy New Year to all. May the rawhide get abundant licks in 2006.

Chackler said...

Boomer would like to attend; he is always searching for enlightenment. He is especially interested in the Hazing and Firearms classes (which kind of scares me!)

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Excellent, Chackler. You may pay via PayPal. Please send me an e-mail with Boomer's full name, age and turban size.