Hello, children of Pug Life. This is Pope Pius Pug. I am pleased to be able to join you today for this most momentous occasion. Today, I would like to speak to you about forgiveness. In Mark 11:25, it says, "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." So today, I want to make public a forgiveness that I made in my heart long ago.
As some of you may recall, I was brutally slain by a demon-possessed Chihuahua. Were it not for the resurrectory powers of Brother Mugsy, my beloved friend and business partner, I would not be barking before you now. Though some might hold a grudge after such a vicious attack, I quickly forgave Bella the Chihuahua. She knew not what she did. And now, after witnessing the progress that she has made since her exorcism, I am ready to welcome her back into the fold. Yes, the onetime outcast Mexican bandito will be retaking the habit and rejoining the Pug Life nunnery as Sister Bella.
Let this story of forgiveness and redemption fill your hearts as you dig deep into your wallets to purchase some goods from the Vatican Gift Shop. All proceeds will go directly to the Pug Life Telethon fund, which currently stands at 67 cents. That is just $99,999,999.33 short of today's goal. Remember: Every little bit helps; every big bit helps more.