Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I visited the prestigious Pepper Square Pet Clinic on Monday, where the veterinarian gave me a thorough looking-over. At issue was a reddish spot that has popped up at the side of my face, below my lower lip. The vet suspects that it is a certain type of benign tumor that is common in canines like me who like to go rooting around in the grass. Experts aren't sure what causes it, but they think it might be the result of a bug bite. I was told that it may go away after a few weeks, or it may need to be surgically removed. Naturally, I am hoping for the former. But the important thing for you to remember is that this in no way diminishes my ability to lead this congregation. I am still the same brilliant, energetic pug I have always been. In fact, we must look on the bright side. I am now taking steroids as part of my treatment, and I'm preparing an assault on the baseball record books. Look out, Barry Bonds. I might even make a cameo appearance with Team Pugforce.