In recent days, a cat has been lurking around my abode. It seems that every time I open the door, I see a flash of scurrying fur. He may have even infiltrated my garage a couple of days ago while I was trimming our monstrous bushes. I suspect this feline is an agent of the Mexican government, sent to recapture Bella. But I must urge the Mexicans not to go down this path. Perhaps we would have signed that extradition treaty if you had met our foreign aid requests in the past. But you have done nothing to aid the canine cause -- those taco and enchilada shipments never arrived. Hundreds of hungry puppies were forced to eat Alpo instead. We are under no obligation to extradite Bella to Mexico, and we will consider any attempt to abduct her to be an act of war.
As a show of force, I have just finished shredding a copy of Rolling Stone magazine. A small strip of paper hangs from my teeth as I type this. I would post photos of the carnage, but they are quite graphic, and I don't feel they are appropriate for a family blog such as this one. But consider yourself warned.