Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Carrying a torch

It has been a momentous day for the Pugistani nation, as we secured our first-ever Olympic torch relay. After a series of troubled torch runs around the world, rife with anti-China demonstrations and shortened routes, the torch had been set to return to China following Tuesday's run in Vietnam. But I picked up the Pug Life phone and made an urgent call, waking Chinese President Hu Jintao at 3 a.m. "Hu," I barked, "you must send the torch to Pugistan. China is the pug's ancestral homeland, and the ties between us run deep. Plus, God willing, I would like to roast some marshmallows." I then assured President Hu that there would be no protests to embarrass his nation -- my ability to suppress dissent is legendary, and no Tibet-loving Lhasa Apso is going to steal my thunder. After consulting with his godless communist cohorts, President Hu agreed to formally recognize Pugistan as a nation and send the torch to the ayatollah compound, where it is scheduled to arrive in the morning via UPS.

Tomorrow, I will pass the torch to my little brother to officially kick off our relay and usher in a new era of international respect for Pugistan. Allahu akbar! Then I will pray that young Wendell does not burn the house down with one of his wild figure-eight sprints.


Nevis said...

May I be the first member of the Wendell fan club? More pictures!

Sarah S. said...

How exciting!!! Allahu akbar, indeed! Btw...is that United Parcel Service or United Pug Service? Just wondering.

Pyrite said...


My family and will be embarking on the great pilgramage to Pugistan (we are moving to Nevada) in the next month. It will be a lot like the pilgramage to Mecca, except passable via airconditioned mini-van, and more places to get french fries along the way. Please let me know what I can do to spread the word of the Pug Life Ministry in my new home.


Ayatollah Mugsy said...

You may join the club, Nevis, but I think mother was the first member.

It is United Pug Service, Sarah S. A wholly owned subsidiary of Pug Life Ministries Inc.

Best of luck in your new home, Pyrite.