Thursday, April 03, 2008

Mallard's April Fool's Day joke

Assalamu alaikum, my flock. On Tuesday morning, I began a marathon 48-hour tug-of-war session with Wendell. Imagine my surprise when I returned to my blogging station and found that my aide-de-camp Mallard had played an April Fool's joke on the congregation. He even went into my pre-written speech file -- where I keep several dozen texts on hand, just in case -- to make it sound more authentic. But Mallard inserted a couple of changes near the end of the speech that should have made it a dead giveaway to anyone who follows my teachings. First, he wrote of "free and democratic elections." Ha ha ha! That Mallard, such a card ...

Then he named himself as my successor. Now Mallard is wonderful when it comes to dealing with physical stress, and he has the toothmarks to prove it. But mentally, there is simply no way a chew toy could handle this job. Being an ayatollah isn't easy, and Mallard would simply quack under the pressure.

7 comments:

Eagle, Ranger, and Flyer's mom said...

... "quack under pressure" ... that made me laugh!

Sarah S. said...

Oh, what a relief!! >:)

Happy birthday, oh holy one! Any special plans for your big day?

Sarah O. said...

Phew. I was a bit concerned by Mallard's foolish proclamation, as there truly is no way a chew toy could handle your job.

Happy birthday, Wise One. Ria, having seen your Dogster page, had already informed me that you are an Aries, which is only appropriate for a leader of your magnitude.

Lucy said...

Please rack the mallard and rip his cotton innards from his gut.

Nevis said...

What amused me was the line, "But mentally, there is simply no way a chew toy could handle this job."...! AHh...that made me chuckle aloud.

MORE WENDELL!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

But it's true, Eagle, Ranger and Flyer's Mom. Every time I apply the slightest bit of pressure with my jaws, he quacks uncontrollably.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I celebrated with a rawhide bone and some extra biscuits. And the ministry dedicated a new obelisk in my honor.

Mallard was only joking, Lucy. Besides, his cotton innards are rather stout -- hence our long friendship.

Wendell has been engrossed in his studies, Nevis. The pug needs discipline.

Anonymous said...

I doubt that the whole table's IQ would equal a hundred. I almost said that you could persuade them to wear Ayatollah t-shirts, but I think you are looking for a more enlighten member.