Happy birthday to me

As some of you know, I celebrated my 7th birthday this week. It seems like only yesterday that I was a tiny, growling pup hanging by my teeth from the legs of father's jeans as he slowly trudged across the room. To mark the occasion, the ministry erected a 70-foot obelisk outside the ayatollah compound. An inscription on the base bears a partial list of my major accomplishments through the first seven years of my life. Truly, it is a breathtaking sight. Yet some in the neighborhood have complained. It seems they were caught off-guard by this towering structure, and by the fact that it was built with homeowners' association funds. They thought their annual dues would go toward landscaping, lawn-mowing, perhaps another gazebo. But this is their own fault. Did they complain when I took control of the HOA presidency late last year through a bloodless coup? No, not in any significant numbers. And did they attend the hastily arranged 3 a.m. meeting where this obelisk was approved? Again, no. Only one neighbor took the time to show up and speak out against this monument. And his vote was outweighed by mine and that of HOA treasurer Wendell. Allah, we thank you for neighborhood politics.