Monday, July 30, 2007

For the do-it-yourselfers

Hi, I'm Bob Vila. The supreme ayatollah asked me to meet with you today to discuss an important topic: decoy pugs. Mugsy uses these decoys for security reasons, but a well-made decoy pug can have all kinds of uses. You're limited only by your imagination. Now, let's get on with it, shall we?

Step 1: You'll want to start by gathering up fur. The baseboards can be a good place to find materials. Make sure you have a sturdy support to work on -- these decoys can get heavy.

Step 2: Now you've cleaned up all the fur collected on the baseboards and clinging to the table legs, but it's not quite enough. Don't despair, Pug Lifers; with the right tools, you'll be just fine. I recommend a good, sturdy brush. Now go to work on your real-life pug. Try going both with and against the grain. You'll be amazed at how quickly the fur adds up. Don't be afraid to brush too much; I've yet to make a pug go bald.

Step 3: Now we're getting somewhere. See the pug begin to take shape? From here, it's just a matter of smoothing out the rough edges. Try some 400-grit sandpaper, and a chisel if necessary. Before you know it, you've got a decoy pug of your very own.

For accessories like the ayatollah's turban, we use a proprietary prop with a Mr. Potatohead-like attachment feature. The details on these are classified, so you'll have to try fabricating your own. Good luck on your projects, everybody! For Ayatollah Mugsy, this is Bob Vila saying, "Allah be with you."

9 comments:

mindy said...

I tried this, but mine doesn't look quite as good. I guess I need some practice.

Anonymous said...

My husband - the "decoy" looks JUST LIKE YOU. But a little cross eyed though. hmmm.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Rome wasn't built in a day, Mindy. A little more practice, and you'll be fine. Running out of fur shouldn't be a concern.

Cross-eyed?!?!?

Anonymous said...

Yes my husband, even though I fancy you most especially, the decoy does not reflect your radiance and handsomeness which is widely discussed in the harem.

In fact, we all agree this decoy is a bit cross-eyed. *nods*

With all our collective harem luv -Aine and the Harem.

Ronin_The_Pug said...

Hi Ayatollah Mugsy! It's so nice to meet you! I tried the decoy thing... but I think I'm not so good as you...

Christine and FAZ said...

Seems easy - I'll give it a try - I always wanted a decoy pug. FAZ

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

You have to really compact the fur, Ronin.

I am sure you will be pleased with the results, FAZ.

ppconnell said...

Phoebe here:

We black pugs don't shed as much as you fawn pugs. Is it okay to shave the cats to get enough fur?

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

With cat fur, you will certainly have a lower-quality decoy, Phoebe. But I suppose it'll do in a pinch.