Monday, January 22, 2007

Back in the fold

At long last, the hostage ordeal is over. Mallard, my faithful assistant and friend, is back at the ayatollah compound. I received a tip last night on his whereabouts and immediately departed to look for him. Mallard was tied to a railroad track several dozen miles west of Fort Worth, just as the anonymous tipster had said. A train was bearing down on him. I knew I had to act quickly, and yet it all seemed too easy. "Mugsy!" Mallard quacked. "Don't do it! Run!" Just as I suspected; it was a trap. Blue Bull was trying to lure me out into the middle of nowhere so that he could assassinate me and enslave the Pug Life population in his Godless communist labor camps. But if I didn't act, my friend would be run over by a speeding locomotive. Countless marathon chewing sessions had taught me that Mallard was one tough bird. But that tough? I didn't think so. Disregarding my own safety, I sprang into action. What happened next, you ask? I regret that I cannot say. But I am in negotiations to sell the exclusive movie rights to filmmaker Michael Bay, so perhaps you will someday see it on the big screen.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

PRAISE ALLAH! You and Mallard are OKAY! Aine

Winston said...

Allah be praised. Oh Great One, your hunting skills are brilliant. I have never had duck before but I look forward to sharing a sumptuous meal with you. Tell me when and where and I shall bring herbs and spices for when we roast the duck that you just captured.

The Grand Duke

rpm said...

Our HERO!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

We can't roast Mallard, Winston!!! After all he has done for the ministry, that would be wrong. I just chew on him raw.

Pippin, the Gentle Pup said...

Great One, when you chew on Mallard, do you take pains not to destuff him? If so, can you explain how you manage that as we have been unsuccessful in the Border Collie house with leaving stuffed items intact, even important ones that have aided un in various ways.

You humble servant
Pippin

Zeus said...

That Michael Bay is one tricksy bastard! I can only assume he was staking out the location so he could obtain that photograph of your heroic feat...or is that an artist's rendering of the event?

Nonetheless, I agree with anonymous: Praise Allah! Mallard is safe! I would hope that you would do the same for me if my life were in peril, Mugsy...even if our species are at war at times.

Boomer said...

Praise Allah, Mallard is back home. Mugsy, truly you are not only a great spiritual leader but a cunning military leader as well.

Sarah said...

The Ayatollah rules! I sleep well at night knowing you are at the helm.

Sam Iam said...

Nice One!!! Way to go, Praise Allah!sniff-sniff

Lot's of Lick's
Sam

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I take no special pains not to destuff Mallard, Pippin. He is simply the toughest chew toy known to pug, and the only one to survive a long-term friendship with me. I have noticed a small wound on his neck, but that may be from the shrapnel.

I always keep a photographer in my entourage, Zeus. One never knows when a photo op may arise. And I would, of course, take the same risks for any member of the congregation.

Thank you, Boomer. I studied Cmdr. Brody's military strategy guide.

And thank you, Sarah and Sam.

James Beauregard daPug said...

Oh, Bro. Mugsy! Mama nearly fainted when she saw the picture of that big old locomotive bearing down on you. Mama would just die if you got killed.

Mama's human child is home for 3-4 months working on a Stephen King movie. In all sincerity, Stephen King himself doesn't have a thing on you when it comes to scaring the beejeebies out of us.

Do be careful. Mama's health depends on you being alive...and I rather depend on Mama.

J. B.

Leslee said...

You are so brave!

Rabbi Jake said...

You are so brave!! I am so glad Mallard is back in the house. He is a faithful campanion.