Tuesday, January 01, 2008

The robotic menace

Part II of a two-part suspense-filled epic

The roaring infidel was almost upon me. "This robot sucks," I thought, noting the vacuum effect pulling at my fur. As the Roomba's spinning brushes slammed into my legs, I sprang upward and pounced, crashing down on the power button just before the machine could eat Wendell's curly tail. The Roomba fell silent, defeated like all the other infidels who had dared to cross the ayatollah. Triumphant, I strode to the kitchen to retrieve my ceremonial banana hook.

As I rummaged through the cabinets, the humans approached their fallen machine. Mother lifted it and began to disassemble it. "Yes!" I exclaimed, "tear it limb from evil robotic limb!" Then she turned its rear compartment over, and out spilled enough fur for three pug decoys. My already-wide eyes widened, and Allah placed a metaphorical light bulb above my silky-smooth head.

A vision of
the ancient terracotta army of the first Qin emperor popped into my head. Yes, it all made sense now. This robot, despite its outwardly menacing appearance, was simply part of God's plan. With this automated fur-gathering device, I now had the means to build a grand hall of pug decoys exceeding any creation of man. "Allahu akbar!" I exclaimed, before moving to make amends with the Roomba for my hasty attack.

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto."


Anonymous said...

Now that it making lemonade from lemons. Smart thinking, O holy one.

Nan and B.A.G.S. the pug -aka Aine said...

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto."

HA! ...says Aine's mummy...

AIne...My Husband... mummy is still laughing at that 80's song phrase. Now I am being bothered by an 80's song revival in my house. Thanks a LOT my husband. *runs to crate as 99 luft balloons plays in the background...*

ps - please see my puggy play date on my blog. Aine

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Thank you, Anonymous Oe.

Is that a song, Aine?

Nan and B.A.G.S. the pug -aka Aine said...

Mummy says it is myhusband!

Nevis said...

Wow! You're funny. Not like the juvinile humor of Will Ferrell (although I love him) and not like the goofy humor of Jay Leno (I'm not a huge fan of him) but more like the intellectual humor of Woody Allen or Dennis Miller - It makes me feel alternately stupid and inferior. I din't know wether to curse you or laugh. Oh well. Snarf.