Friday, November 09, 2007

Drinking problem? The ministry can help

A friend recently approached me to seek my counsel on a most serious issue. "Mugsy," he said, "though I fear for what you may think of me because of my slip-ups, I'm afraid I have no other options. Can you help me deal with my drinking problem?" He went on to describe his heart-wrenching troubles in detail. Being a canine, I am naturally a good listener, so I heard this friend out. Finally, I did my best to offer him hope, plotting a detailed course for his recovery.

And now I want to do the same for all of you. If you are struggling with a drinking problem, know that the ministry has a proven 12-step program to help. You need not suffer in silence, and you need not fear my reaction. Remember, I, too, have struggled with addiction.

My flock, I am pleased to say that my bulldog friend has completed all 12 steps and is now living the clean life. For the last three weeks, despite myriad temptations, he has not taken so much as a single sip from the toilet. Praise Allah!


Sarah O. said...

Ayatollah, you are a saint! Or something like that.

Pancho said...

Don't ask me to give up my toilet cocktails. Sure, I could stop. But I'm no quitter.

Pugsley, Buster, Cricket & Daisy said...

If we ever have a problem with drinking at least we will know where to seek help. We can always count on the Ayatollah for a chuckle!

Four Pugz

Anonymous said...

You are indeed wise, oh Ayatollah. I have never had this problem since I am small, but I do have an eating problem. How can I cut down...or should I? Any Allah approved diet?

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Thank you, Sarah O.

I admire your steadfastness, Pancho.

Good luck in avoiding temptation, Four Pugz.

Anonymous One, I recommend that you begin by reading my teachings on halaal rawhide.

James Beauregard daPug said...

Me, too, Pancho...I'll never give up my toilet cocktails, they're the best.

Mama told me about this guy in the U.K. whose water bill was astronomical and nobody could figure out why.

One day the man stayed home sick and discovered his cat was flushing the toilet over and over again all day every day.

That, to me, would be an addiction sure 'nuff. I like a good drink but I'm not into all that compulsive flushing.

J. B.