Monday, November 19, 2007

Hop along now, infidels ...

It was 2 a.m. as we pulled into the garage. The ayatollah clan had just crammed a long weekend in Oklahoma into a little over 24 hours. Mother had gone to a baby shower. My seven-pound brother had begun his courtship of a 60-pound Lab mix named Ginger. And I had stayed busy trying to overthrow Hamas in Gaza while also working to reverse the rising cost of rawhide. As we unloaded the pugmobile, the unmistakable sound of drunken revelry emanated from the dwelling next door. It was unusual -- I can't recall any other such gathering at the neighbors' house -- but it seemed to be nothing to worry about, bad music aside. Then mother nudged me. "Mugsy," she whispered, "what are they doing to my car?"

I turned to find a crowd of intoxicated humans gathered around the driver's-side door of mother's vehicle in the driveway. "Hey!" I barked, "what are you doing?"

One hunched-over human straightened, as best he could in his present state. "I'm drawing a rabbit," he said matter-of-factly.

I have nothing against rabbits or any other small woodland animals, and I am well known as a patron of the arts. But still, I found this explanation to be unacceptable. Call me crazy, but I would prefer that humans keep their grubby paws off my property -- especially at 2 in the morning.

"Get away from my car!" I growled.

The humans scattered like cockroaches under a floodlight. Mother went to check on the car. And in the mist on its window, she found the beginnings of a rabbit drawing.

This incident has left me no choice but to issue a fatwa! I never thought I would have to say this, but it must be clarified so that all will know. Henceforth, it is strictly forbidden under canine Islam to draw a bunny in the window of any car other than your own.


Nan and B.A.G.S. the pug -aka Aine said...

But my husband? Is it okay to write XOXOXO I HEART MUGSY in the window?

If not the harem will be upset...How else can we advertise our love? Aine

James Beauregard daPug said...

Remember when I told you about Mama racing down the street at midnight in her nightgown chasing M'sister Rosebud? I didn't tell you how Rosebud got out.

Mama had gone to bed with the flu that night and Papa stayed up to watch TV. At midnight the doorbell rang and there was a little old man, probably in his 80's, on the doorstep holding a bowling ball. He had no jacket and it was freezing outside.

Papa was letting the old man come inside when Rosebud got out.

The old man had been bowling that night with a church league. The driver who had picked him up returned him to the wrong street...and nobody knew even knew he was lost for a couple of hours.

A bunny drawing on the side of your mom's car is pretty good - right up there with an 80+ year old man at the front door at midnight holding a bowling ball!!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Perhaps an e-mail would be more effective, Aine. Or a rawhide care package.

I will issue a fatwa against abandoning elderly bowlers as well, James Beauregard. Thank Allah that Rosebud was OK.

Pugsley, Buster, Cricket & Daisy said...

Although it be rather amusing, how could the drunkards not realize it be a very serious infraction. Shame on them!!

Four Pugz