Saturday, August 16, 2008

Wendell goes for the gold


BEIJING (AP) -- Shaking off an injured paw and a poor start, Wendell the Pug roared back Saturday to win the first gold medal for Pugistan in the 100-meter run.

Wendell, the younger brother of religious icon Ayatollah Mugsy, tore off his plastic neck cone as he walked to the starting blocks, showing no ill effects from a recent foot infection. The more than 90,000 fans in attendance roared in approval as Wendell began to yip at his competitors in an apparent bid to psych them out.

After the race began, Wendell ran in three tight circles around the starting line, falling behind by at least 15 meters. But then he tucked his tail and took off like a rocket, blazing past silver-medalist Usain Bolt of Jamaica and shattering the world record with a time of 8 seconds.

Bronze medalist Richard Thompson of Trinidad and Tobago filed a protest after the race, alleging that Wendell was too young to compete. The dog's official Pugistani birth certificate, which bore a fresh price tag from Kinko's, indicated that he was 38 years old, but observers pointed to ample evidence that Wendell was still a puppy. Still, the International Olympic Committee, known for turning a blind eye to evidence of rules violations, was expected to rule in Wendell's favor.

"The IOC made no move against the Chinese women's gymnastics team," said TV broadcaster Mary Carillo, referring to another age scandal at these Olympic Games. "And if you recall the old East German women's teams, the IOC overlooked clues like 5 o'clock shadow and bulging adam's apples. I think Wendell's medal is safe."

As Wendell walked to the podium to accept his medal, there was a brief controversy over which song to play. Pugistan, a disputed territory in the American Southwest, does not have a formal national anthem. The nation's ruling junta ultimately decided on "Dogs Barking Jingle Bells" as Pugistan's temporary anthem.

Wendell accepted his medal and then raised his right paw in a black-pug power salute. It was a show of defiance, and an announcement that Pugistan had arrived on the international sporting stage.

4 comments:

Sarah O. said...

We never doubted Wendell's super-canine abilities.

Congrats, Wendell, The Enigmatic Mugsy and their associated humans!

Anonymous said...

You are our hero, Wendell. I am glad you are back in the race.....Rabbi Jake

sarah s. said...

Congratulations, Wendell! I knew those freakishly long legs would come in handy one day!

Nevis said...

Great photo. And lovely song choice. Much classier than "Who let the dogs out?"