We are nearly four hours in, and still nobody has claimed any of our free items. That is right, my flock, the price tags on our treadmill and rickety weight bench both simply say "free." Could the ministry possibly be any more generous? Will I have to start taping dollar bills to these items to make it worthwhile for someone to claim them? Because I am not above such tactics.
Allah, we pray that we do not have to lug this junk, er, these treasures back inside.