Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Raising the roof

I awoke early Monday morning to a thud on the roof. Then another. Wendell and I did what any self-respecting canines would do: We barked. And we surveyed the house. From room to room we ran, and in each spot the pounding persisted overhead. Was the compound under attack, perhaps by those nefarious chew toys? Or were the members of the Jedi church wing of Pug Life Ministries right -- had space aliens arrived? We returned to the bedroom to wake our parents, who for some reason were trying to sleep through the racket. "Mugsy," father said groggily, "it's just the roofers. Remember? They're replacing the roof."

I gave father a cold, piercing, incredulous stare. Nearly $5,000 of my rawhide fund, gone forever. And all because of his impetuous impatience.

True, the roof needed to be replaced. It was bombarded, along with every other home in the neighborhood, by a furious hailstorm. Why Allah had sent this wrath down upon my humble abode, I cannot say. But I suspect He was punishing me for not selling enough merchandise and raising enough money to serve His purpose. God willing, my beloved flock's generosity will spare me from a recurrence of this maelstrom.

Yes, the roof needed to be replaced. But to hire professionals, when our polygamist-sect child Esther had almost finished reading the shingles chapter of her Popular Mechanics library book, this was just too much. "Father," I barked, "I don't even know who you are anymore."


Nan and B.A.G.S. the pug said...

MY Husband. The harem needs a proper roof - ergo that is worth every rawhide fund there is- is it not?

Speaking of Harems - "Viola" - if that is her/him/it's real name - must go through the 12 step process of iniation into our humble harem. "W" can not just "choose", we must interview her to see if she will be the proper fit! I mean - really - one must make sure the other wives can share clothes! You know? Cuts down on the raw hide budget. *nods*

Very disappointed in Esther. You would think she would have been on the first shingle by now?

I must say - 5k is indeed a bargain - must be from your continued good works with the community.

Lastly - I think you need to update your shop to reflect the shinigans of late. You have so many good options - "Team BELLA", "W" - it is not what you are thinking - - you know - those type of t-shirts!

Love and pug kisses -Aine.

PS - please say a prayer for my eye - it has gotten all puffy due to unknown alergies which worries my Mummy SO!

sarah s. said...

While no one can know Allah's plan, he sees your good works and knows your heart. Maybe he's punishing your neighbors for choosing Walmart over Pug Life Ministry's giftshop and you got caught in the crossfire?

Nevis said...

Hope your house repair goes swimmingly...

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

You would spend the rawhide funds too lightly, Nan and Aine. In Esther's defense, the compound's baseboards and blinds have never been cleaner. I will see if I can get the sweatshop to churn out some new merchandise. May your eye return to normal quickly.

This is certainly plausible, Sarah S.

Thank you, Nevis. The job was finished in a little over a day, and no nails were left behind to injure my paws. So we consider it a success.