Flagging support

I sense disloyalty in the ranks, my flock. All may appear rosy on the surface, but one does not reach my stature without a strong sense of paranoia and an ability to sniff out infidels. For Pugistan to be strong, it must be built on the backs of true patriots -- followers who would lay down their lives for the ministry, or at least throw it a bone every now and then. A single weak link could bring the entire ministry crashing down -- and with it the long-held dream of a sovereign canine nation. Yes, my flock, it is time for a mass excommunication to purge the infidels among us. But there is one problem -- a big one. Though I sense this disloyalty, I cannot prove it. Unfortunately, we are bereft of a flag to unite us. Without a flag, there can be no flag lapel pins. And with no flag lapel pins, there can be no accounting of Pugistan's true patriots.

Surely you see my quandary. God willing, we will soon find a Betsy Ross of our own.