Thursday, February 28, 2008

Buongiorno from Venice

Greetings, my flock. I am writing you from an Internet cafe near Piazza San Marco in Venice, where I have spent the last several days. The Italians have far more progressive views on canine rights than many of us are accustomed to. It is common to see dogs here in bakeries and cafes. I even spoke with a large Weimeraner in a Coin department store. Like me, he was eyeballing the women's lingerie. I asked no questions, and neither did he. So it was a good talk.

Not only are the canines here afforded rights nearly equal to the humans, but they also all seem to wear designer doggy coats -- Prada, Gucci, etc. Had America's inept human ruling class not destroyed the value of the once-mighty dollar, perhaps I would be able to afford such luxuries. Instead, I am forced to wear only my modest turban and gold-encrusted medallion.

A couple of days ago, I toured the Doge's Palace, where I studied the ways of the Venetian aristocracy and government. This should prove most beneficial as we transition to the canine rule of Pugistan. Already, I am drawing up plans for a Grand Inquisitor's Council to investigate treachery and other infidel acts. If you believe you are sufficiently ruthless, you may submit your resume via e-mail.

My Internet time is nearly up, so I must wander on, my flock. Arrivederci, and Allah be with you.

9 comments:

Eagle The Pug said...

I hope your visit to Venice is pleasant and that you successfully avoid the acqua alta.

Thanks very much for the prizes I received in the mail for the beautiful haiku I wrote honoring your holiness. I've put the magnet high up on the fridge so young Flyer does not try to eat it as he has attempted in the past when they were situated at pug level.

Eagle The Pug said...

One more question, do the Venetians celebrate Leap Day in any special way?

Anonymous said...

I am happy your vacation is going as planned. Can you get a drink from the canals or are they disgusting? Are there places to relieve yourself or do you use the human conveniences?
Just trying to broaden my knowledge.

Sarah O. said...

Your flock eagerly awaits photos. We also await Wendell's youthful take on Italy. Ciao!

Anonymous said...

Ayatollah, Has the language barrier been an obstacle for you ?

Z - human

Nan and B.A.G.S. the pug said...

My Husband we harem wives MISS YOU!!!

PS make sure you send back plenty of gucci and prada clothes... not PRADO we would know the difference... love AIne

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Thank you, Eagle. Your prize was well deserved. They celebrate by taking off work at 4 p.m. As they do every day.

I would not drink from the canals, Anonymous One, even though a Coke costs an unholy 3 euros. The canals are rather salty. As always, I relieve myself wherever I please.

Wendell is keeping a journal, Sarah O.

No, Z. One can get by here with limited knowledge of Italian. I do bark a little Italian, though, which helps.

Aine, there are some street vendors here selling authentic designer handbags. You would do well to come and buy one.

Allah be with you all.

Nevis said...

*laughing* When I read your statement, "Had America's inept human ruling class not destroyed the value of the once-mighty dollar, perhaps I would be able to afford such luxuries." <---I spit my coffee out in laughter. Ahhh... Ayatollah, you crack me up.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I will remember to carry an umbrella should we ever meet in person, Nevis.