Hi, everybody. Mallard here. The ayatollah entrusted me with a big responsibility -- handling all the fundraising while he's away. I hope I'm up to the task. I think this trip will be really good for him. He was really bummed out a couple of weeks ago when he felt like the Rutgers women's basketball team stole this year's Nobel Peace Prize out from under him. He's really fixated on winning that, almost as if it were a biscuit. I bet he'd even roll over if it meant a win, and he doesn't roll over for anyone anymore. But I digress ...
Mugsy left me a paw-written partial itinerary*, and I thought it might be of interest to some of the Pug Life faithful. So here it is:
April 20, 4 p.m.: Depart D/FW Airport.
April 21, 7 a.m.: Arrive in London; attempt to convert Hare Krishnas during long layover.
April 21, 2 p.m.: Prague, at last. Sleep.
April 22, 4 a.m.: Wake up, curse jet lag, wait till breakfast.
April 22, 8 a.m.: Attempt to enjoy hotel's vegan breakfast (thanks, mother).
April 22, 9 a.m.: Search city for meat market.
April 23, 2 p.m.: Commence search for the Blue Satan.
April 24, 7 p.m.: Dine at Prague Castle.
April 25, 10 a.m.: Dog-paddle the Vltava River.
April 26, 2 p.m.: Sniff the Charles Bridge.
April 27, 11 p.m.: Meet with former KGB bureau chief to discuss "best practices."
April 28, noon: Sermon at Wenceslas Square; gain new donors.
April 29, 9 p.m.: Check puggy bank, see if I have enough funds for souvenirs.
April 29, 1 p.m.: Fly to London; spend rest of day there.
Apriil 29, 7 p.m.: Sermon at Hyde Park.
* Times, dates and events altered for security reasons.