U.N. condemns pug nuclear test

UNITED NATIONS (AP) -- The U.N. Security Council unanimously condemned Pugistan's first nuclear test on Saturday as a clear violation of a 2006 resolution aimed at curbing the canine nation's atomic program.

The statement emerging from the 15-member council's emergency meeting in New York came after President Obama urged the international community to "stand up to" the shadowy Pugistani leader, Ayatollah Mugsy, and demanded that he abandon Pug Life Ministries' nuclear program. 

Experts with the International Atomic Energy Agency said the fuel for the bomb probably came from spent fuel rods used in the ministry's controversial rawhide-enrichment program, which has drawn widespread international condemnation in recent years. Pug Life Ministries first clashed with the IAEA in late 2005, when the ministry allegedly abducted three nuclear inspectors and had them cryogenically frozen. The inspectors' whereabouts remain a mystery.

The latest underground nuclear blast took place early Saturday and was believed to be centered beneath the back yard of the ayatollah's suburban Dallas compound. Officials with Ayatollah Mugsy's ministry, which controls Pugistan's theocratic government, denied that the test violated any laws. 

"We called the city hotline and had all underground power and sewage lines clearly marked with colored flags before digging commenced," said one spokesdog, who asked to remain anonymous. "And there is no municipal law against subterranean nuclear testing -- we checked."

The Pugistani separatists are not members of the United Nations and therefore do not recognize the international body's authority. 

Though no neighbors would speak out publicly against the nuclear test, some privately vowed to bring the matter up at the next meeting of the Hillcrest Estates Homeowners' Association.