Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I am so proud of you

DALLAS (AP) -- Police clashed with demonstrators Tuesday in a second straight day of violent protests against the Subway sandwich chain.

Protesters said they were angry over a slight against their supreme ayatollah, Mugsy, the mysterious founder of Pug Life Ministries. "Our imam must be treated with the utmost respect, always," said Robert Barnes, an Oak Cliff dentist. "We demand an apology, and perhaps a free sandwich."

Police Lt. Horace Jebs said the demonstrators in downtown Dallas first chanted anti-Subway slogans and burned an effigy of corporate spokesman Jared Fogle. "But we had to move in and break it up when they tried to ignite a massive pair of jeans," Jebs said. "That could have taken out a whole city block."


Boomer and his mom Carol said...

Mugsy, in preparation for your upcoming Jihad with Subway, I have instructed my mom go to Panera Bread at lunchtime instead of her usual Subway stop.

Of course she was a bit hesitant at first but I "convinced" her that it was the right thing to do. Her new shoes are safe...for now.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Bless you, Boomer.

James Beauregard daPug said...

I don't know. I'm not convinced the turkey at Subway is real turkey or the ham is really ham or the beef is...you see where I'm going? And, if they'll lie about the sandwich ingredients, what's to say they wouldn't make all that up about Jared and his big britches?

I just don't trust those people - I think Subway sandwich shops are a front for something else altogether. I have instructed my mom stay in the kitchen and cook! I don't want my mama to be at Subway when one of those meatball sandwiches blows-up and takes out a whole city block. No sir-ree!

J. B.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Very smart, James Beauregard. Can I come stay at your house for a while? I could be there by, say, dinnertime tomorrow ...

James Beauregard daPug said...

I just reckon' you're welcome anytime, Bro. Mugsy. Mama just mixed-up something you might like - sour cream and lemon curd, to be served as a sauce over hot blueberry cobbler. You don't find blueberry cobbler down at the Subway, now do you? No, just sandwiches made with thin-sliced mystery-meat.

What is your very favorite food or foods, Bro. Mugsy?

J. B.

TransplantedOkie said...

A pox on Subway and the insufferable Jared. I just want to poke that guy in the eye everytime he pops up on my TC screen.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

My favorite food is whatever the humans are having at a given moment, JB. Or spaghetti. It always gets me wide-eyed.

I hear the protesters will have a Milkbone-filled Jared pinata at the next event, TransplantedOkie. You're welcome to take a swing.

James Beauregard daPug said...

Martha Stewart did a feature on her show recently about making a pinata with a person's picture on it! It was right down your alley, so to speak.

Martha made a Rosie O'Donnell pinata complete with glued-on hair and everything...then beat it to pieces with a stick.

If you're a craftsy ayatollah, you ought to be able to create a fine-lookin' Jared pinata.

J. B.

Sarah O. said...

Praise Allah.

TG said...

I'm not a Muslim like you,(however I do appreciate it when my neighbors down the street bring me free food during Ramadahn). But I support you in your struggles, may the force be with you!

Jedi Master,
Monty Da Pug

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Bless you, Jedi Master.