Sunday, May 27, 2007
Not one of my finer moments
Some of you may have seen my recent split-screen appearance on The View, as it has been replayed ad nauseum on various TV shows. To put it bluntly, this was not a moment I was proud of. I had intended to be a mediator, a peacemaker between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. But the venom in the studio got the better of me, and I entered the fray. As the religious thinker Confucious once said, "A catfight is no place for a dog." And he was right. I regret some of the statements I barked and some of the, er, gestures I made. And although I accept full responsibility for my actions, I suspect that they were not entirely my own. That's right, Barbara Walters, I am putting you on notice. If I am able to prove that you put some kind of mind-altering, anger-inducing substance in the on-set water bowls, you will be hearing from my attorneys.