Friday, March 23, 2007

Mugsy subpoenaed

Fear not, my flock. Your secrets are safe with me ...

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Following the House's lead, a Senate panel on Friday authorized a subpoena for a shadowy canine cleric in the ongoing investigation of the firing of eight U.S. attorneys.

"This pug knows something," said Sen. Patrick Leahy, referring to Ayatollah Mugsy. The Texas-based imam is the leader of Pug Life Ministries, and many Washington insiders believe he was instrumental in the firings.

"Every single one of the fired prosecutors was involved in building a case against the ayatollah," said Leahy, a Vermont Democrat.

One member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that Pug Life Ministries was being investigated on charges of tax evasion, sedition and making terrieristic threats. The tax evasion charges apparently stemmed from the for-profit ministry's assertions that it was a religious institution, and later from its assertion that it was based in the sovereign nation of "Pugistan" and was therefore not subject to U.S. tax law.

"All of the charges were dropped after the U.S. attorney firings," the source said.

An official with Pug Life Ministries said that any talk of Ayatollah Mugsy's involvement in the firings was "preposterous."

"He is but a humble imam," said the source, on condition of anonymity. "And Mugsy would never make terrieristic threats -- that's what his underlings are for."

7 comments:

Eagle The Pug said...

No taxes in Pugistan?! This place is sounding more and more like Nirvana everyday!

Are you actually going to have to go to DC to testify? I'll be looking forward to THOSE pictures on your travel blog.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

No taxation without representation, Eagle. Until we get the vote, we will pay no taxes to the humans.

I haven't yet decided whether I'll testify.

otis the boston terrier said...

Terrieristic threats - hahahaha.

TransplantedOkie said...

If you decide to testify you can stay with me. Our humble abode would be honored to have your Pugness.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Thank you, TransplantedOkie.

Zeus said...

If those attorneys were after you, Mugsy, then I say "So long, suckers!" They deserved their dismissals for having come after you. They should have known not to mess with Allah's number one pug.

Rabbi Jake said...

You are a masterful and knowledgeable leader. The humans should be so lucky!!! Rabbi