Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Security breach

As I have detailed before, a feline intruder has been hanging around the ayatollah compound. I often see him conducting surveillance from the street, and sometimes he even ventures into my yard. When he realizes he has been sighted, he flees. This has been an ongoing security concern for the ministry. Although we have nothing against cats, per se, this lurking fellow is quite clearly up to no good. So I have some excellent news to report: We have found the secret lair of this feline interloper.

During a routine patrol, my elite Revolutionary Guard security detail found him in this hidden bunker, beneath the curb beside my property. Unfortunately, the Guardsmen are all bulldogs and are thus too rotund to fit into the spider hole. We have called in a special team of dachshund spelunkers to investigate these catacombs and determine the extent of the security breach. God willing, we will smoke this feline out of his hole before sundown.


Anonymous said...

you have bunker curbs? *gasp* wow I have not lived. Aine

Brody the Bulldog said...

Sorry Mugsy, due to the rigerous iron pumping regiment I have enforced on the security troops, they are all most definitly much too bulky to sqeeze into such narrow crevices. Hopefully the dachshunds will have better luck.

-Supreme Commander Brody

Chelsea said...

Save your troops and your trouble.
Put a tin of tuna on your neighbours porch and that feline sucker will be gone before you can say "Where'd the dang cat go?"



Winston said...

Oh Great One,
Take no chances. Liquidate all threats.

The Grand Duke

James Beauregard daPug said...

Bro. Mugsy,

A pitifully abused cat lived in a similar bunker on our street years ago. I don't think anyone ever saw him outside the bunker during the day and he stayed close to the only thing he knew as a home at night but we learned his routine and learned to watch from a distance.

Our neighborhood adopted "Toupee'"...every day several people brought food and fresh water, sometimes people would actually lie down on the pavement to put dry bedding in the bunker and we engineered a makeshift cover for the worst weather.

One freezing cold night the neighbor who lived closest to the bunker went out late to check on Toupee and he was having a seizure. She managed to bring him home and stayed with him all night but he died before morning.

Toupee's bunker was like a neighborhood shrine where a poor stray cat who only had two teeth and his tail had been chopped off found love and acceptance for probably close to two years and was mourned by at least two dozen men, women and children when he died.

J. B.

TransplantedOkie said...

Perhaps he just wants to catch a glimpse of you to bask in your greatness

Anonymous said...

Mugsey! Barney has visited Iraq! You should see if you can visit there too! Aine

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

A few years ago, shortly after I moved into the compound, I saw the bunker curbs in action, Aine. The streets were icy, and a foolish parent was driving around the neighborhood pulling his children on sleds. He went around a corner, and the child went sliding. The sled went right down the hole; the child, apparently unharmed, did not.

No complaints, Brody. That bulk will come in handy during the revolution. I couldn't quite fit down the spider hole, either, though I didn't try taking off my turban.

It worked, Chelsea. Thank you for the ambush tip.

You are ruthless, Winston. I like that.

How sad, J.B. I don't believe this cat lives in the bunker. I think it belongs to one of the neighbors. Hopefully they had the sense to keep it inside during the winter storm we've been having.

That is one way of putting it, TransplantedOkie ...

Though I love to travel, Aine, ... I think I will pass on that one.

Zeus said...

I'm curious as to how I too could become a spelunker. I figure I am the same height and weight as the average dachsund. Why not give it a try?

I hope you catch this infiltrator, Mugsy. It's a shame when felines can't help their own curiosity.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

I suspect that you would be a natural, Zeus. And fortunately, we determined that the feline posed no threat, sans camera.