Monday, November 27, 2006

Lacking book smarts

I ventured out to my city's new library today. The impressive building, open only a few months, is a vast improvement over the tiny facility it replaced. Though it does not quite rival this blog as a repository of knowledge, the city library is impressive nonetheless, and I stop by two or three times a month to enjoy the resplendent fruits of my tax dollars at work. But this was no ordinary trip to the library. As I neared the great reading room, normally a peaceful place, I heard a booming voice. A man was talking loudly on his cell phone. I moved forward in dismay and disbelief to survey the room's nonfiction wares. And as I looked, he yapped. On and on it went, an entire conversation for all the reading public to hear. My tail quickly lost its curl.

Now I ask you this, my alarmed flock: Who among us did not learn as a child or puppy or other youthful being that the library is meant to be a quiet place? How can one be so lacking in couth as to defy this most basic of tenets? Was this man raised by wolves? Such an assumption would hardly seem fair, for I have yet to find a lupine creature so lacking in manners.

Certainly we can overlook the occasional vocal indiscretions of a child, who may not know any better. But a grown man? Clearly, this infidel was openly defying the proper social order -- not to mention the fatwa I delivered at the 2004 Canine Clerics Convention in Damascus. So lest anyone witness such behavior and think it the norm, let me reiterate that fatwa for you now: It is absolutely forbidden to make undue noise at a public library. If you must speak, speak in a quiet voice, a whisper even --- as you were no doubt taught in grade school. And unless it is an emergency, take the cell phone calls outside. This deplorable behavior must not be tolerated, and so long as I am supreme ayatollah of Pug Life Ministries, it will not be.

4 comments:

T-man said...

Amen Ayatollah!! Only humans would be so rude, though my mom says I lack in manners when I whine for treats during her TV shows (I hope there is not a fatwa against that). But I never whine while she's reading, and never in the library.

Winston said...

I concur oh wise one. However, I would allow for one small exception...perhaps talking would be acceptable if the words were "Hold on, I'm in the Library" and the vermin then proceeded to walk outside. Additionally, there is some ambiguity to your fatwa. Perhaps you should make clear that the no talking rule also applies to private libraries unless within a study room.

The Grand Duke

Pappy's Fella said...

This is a product of cubicle culture. A training regimen of meaningless yammering while you are trying to concentrate cultivates an essential skill in the modern office environment.

BTW, was able to shoehorn in a reference to Pug Life Ministries in the latest Pappy movie.

Anonymous said...

Dear Holy Mugsy what exactly happens to the humans, dogs and all other creatures that do not adhear to the fatwa? Do they get the lick of torture from the pug congress? I think you need to describe what the most severe punishment is so that they will understand EXACTLY what will happen to them when they talk so loudly. Maybe than they will listen to reason! Aine

PS. I am still very curious to know when will the Rome and Suri pictures be put up on your Travel Blog? Did Pope send you to the vatican tailors so that you too can get a turban as fitting and as expensive as his hat? Or did Valentino make a personal call to you and the Pope when you were in the vatican so that your shoes would match your turban? Btw what do Scientologist WEAR? Are they all given toupee's of black hair?