Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Hang 'em high


Behold the sight of Beaver, my flock. He has been identified as the infidel in our midst, and he is suffering the fate reserved for the ministry's worst enemies: the banana hook. Beaver has been hanging from his paddle-like tail since yesterday afternoon. Let the sight of his chipped tooth and his cotton-gaping severed paws serve as a warning to other chew toys who would think to conspire against the ministry! At this very moment, Wendell is "interrogating" the infidel to gain additional intelligence. If Beaver had accomplices, they will not escape justice.

You may think that this punishment is barbaric, my flock, but do not be swayed by the mainstream media or the United Nations' recent resolution to ban banana hooks. Instead, keep in mind that Beaver was engaged in a truly heinous plot. Was he trying to build a radioactive dirty bomb, or overthrow the ministry as the infidel Blue Bull did nearly two years ago? No, but Beaver's actions were no less ghastly. He sought to dehydrate Wendell and me by damming up our water bowls.

8 comments:

JMG said...

We had a similar incident recently. It seems that Squeaky Lion was tearing off chunks of how own fur and stopping up the filter on the automatic water bowl in an obvious effort to contaminate my poor dogs' drinking water. We certainly must keep an eye on those plush chew toys!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

This conspiracy may be bigger than we ever imagined, JMG. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. A forensics team will be dispatched to your home shortly.

JMG said...

Squeaky Lion is being detained in the hall closet until help arrives. I'm sure he's in cahoots with Beaver.

Anonymous said...

hmm is this approved by the geneva convention ?

Z

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

The Geneva Convention does not explicity prohibit banana hooks, Z. But Pugistan is not a signatory of that treaty, nor will it be unless our requested Milkbone ransom is paid by the world community.

LemonySarah said...

Beaver fits so perfectly in the banana hook device, you'd think it was custom made.

You are wise to have crafted such a, er, fitting display.

Anonymous said...

Beavers can be very destructive to the compound and it's landscape also. Maybe bringing on heat stoke from no shady areas. The confusion brought on by dehydration could have been devastating for the ministry's finances and your charismatic persona. We are happy this was a success. Rabbi Jake

Nevis said...

LMAO!!!!