Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A walk and a surprise

It was a lovely evening. Mother arrived home from work, earlier than usual, and said the magical "W" word: Walk. Wendell sprang from his pillow and ran a quick circle, while I was more nonchalant but no less giddy. In short order, we were both tethered to our leashes and heading out the door. The smells of the neighborhood were magnificent, as usual. I tend to savor each scent, believing that every aroma is a blessing from Allah. Wendell is more of a racer, intent on covering as much ground as possible. As you might imagine, the elder pug's methods generally win out. Just across the bridge, I found a nice patch of grass. "Come, Wendell," I instructed. "Let us pay special attention to the scents here. You have much to learn." With that, we lowered our noses to the grass and began to make our rounds. As I sniffed, I came across a colony of large ants and shared with them a brief sermon and my latest fatwas. Roughly 90 percent of the insects converted to canine Islam on the spot, and the other 10 percent, well, I sensed that they were trouble-makers and wouldn't contribute any rawhide to the offering plate, anyway. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw mother sweeping something off her foot. "Come on, pugs," she said. "Let's go." Rather than resist the gentle pull of the leash, I went along. It had been a good walk, and I could use a drink.

Back at the ayatollah compound, I took my place on the recliner and began to meditate. I was nearing a dreamlike state when I sensed a fellow creature near me. Moving my head to the side, I spied a pair of luscious, pouting lips. "Angelina," I barked, still half-asleep, "I see that my harem invitation has been well-received. Welcome to the ... Ack!" I nearly jumped out of my fur. The massive-lipped woman before me was not a Hollywood harem prospect at all. Instead, it was my mother, suffering the effects of an acute allergic reaction. Her face was puffy and red, and hives had broken out all over her body. Her feet were swollen to mammoth proportions. "Mugsy," she said, "I've got to go to the emergency room."

Don't fear, my flock. Mother is now home, and thanks to some Benadryl and steroids, she is feeling much better. And as for that aforementioned 10 percent of ne'er-do-well ants who had the audacity to attack my mother, know that they will be made an example of as a warning to other infidel bugs in the neighborhood. Just as soon as I find enough tiny banana hooks to go around.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ayatollah, I am glad your mother recovered. Perhaps it does not pay to be nice to all creatures big or small... I am all for profiling !

Z

Puddleglum said...

What ingratitude! You shared with them the wisdom of CanineIslam, and they retaliate with chemical warfare.

This cannot stand. Fire must rain down from the sky on the infidel ant-peoples.

Nevis said...

Ahk! I hope your mother is well, Ayatollah. **HUGS**

sarah s. said...

LOL! Not to make light of Mother's condition, but the comparison to Angelina was too funny.

Hopefully, the full lips are all she and AJ have in common. Otherwise, you might end up with a house full of pugs from every corner of the earth. Although, would that really be a bad thing?

sarah s. said...

LOL to Z, as well!

Ippo said...

My sister has a pug & although she likes walks, she just doesn't have the stamina to take long walks.
After half an hour, she'd be panting already.
I think the joy of having pugs is that they're happy just to cuddle & stay home with you :-)

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Indeed, Z and Puddleglum. It is payback time for the infidel ants.

She is fine now, Nevis. Praise Allah!

Please don't give mother any ideas, Sarah S. I already fear for my food supply with just young Wendell around.

I am a short walker, too, Ippo. Especially when it's warm outside. But it is nice to take a few moments to inspect the local mailboxes.

Sandy said...

I'm glad your mom is okay. That's scary. That can of death can be a good friend to mothers everywhere.

Sarah O. said...

Hugs to Mother! Also to Father, Wendell and of course, you, ayatollah.