In recent days, the news media have begun to focus intently on my relationship with one of the leading presidential candidates, who has called me a longtime spiritual adviser. The media have seized upon some comments made in my fiery sermons, calling them controversial. There have been insinuations that I am some kind of nefarious influence, pulling the puppet strings to ensure that this candidate furthers the canine Muslim agenda. So I am here to set the record straight.
The fact that I have preached about the virtues of canine secession does not mean that this presidential hopeful shares these views. Nor does it mean that the candidate does not share these views (wink, wink).