Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The Barry Bonds of hot dog eating

I am watching the most exciting 12 minutes in sports: The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Takeru Kobayashi, the five-time defending champion, is seen by many as the greatest athlete of his generation. But after seeing a photo of him now next to a photo of him after his first win, it is clear that he is on steroids. He started as a tiny 110-pound man; now he looks like this. This is a huge scandal in the making. We have a possible upset brewing, with somebody named Chestnut leading the defending champion by two hot dogs. Impressive, yes, but I could do better.


Anonymous said...

I think you are right, of course! There is something very fishy about someone eating that much food and staying very much in shape. If they don't allow canines next year, perhaps we should demand they stop this and send the hot dogs to animal shelters around the country.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Yes, Anonymous One. Dump 60 hot dogs in a cage with a hungry shelter dog, and watch Kobayashi's record fall.