I am watching the most exciting 12 minutes in sports: The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Takeru Kobayashi, the five-time defending champion, is seen by many as the greatest athlete of his generation. But after seeing a photo of him now next to a photo of him after his first win, it is clear that he is on steroids. He started as a tiny 110-pound man; now he looks like this. This is a huge scandal in the making. We have a possible upset brewing, with somebody named Chestnut leading the defending champion by two hot dogs. Impressive, yes, but I could do better.