- I am thankful for the 60 seconds a day -- 30 in the morning and 30 in the evening -- when I can savor my daily meals. I enjoy the texture of each individual piece of Eukanuba, the sublime sensations of flavor escaping every last morsel.
- I am thankful for the readers of this blog who take the time to share their comments. And I am also thankful for those who stop by to soak up the pug knowledge but never let their presence be known. Perhaps at some point, Allah will move them to join in the discussion.
- I am thankful that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have split up, opening the doggy door for the first human female to join my harem. Resistance is futile, Jessie.
- I am thankful for those delectable yet dangerous turkeys. Americans are expected to eat 525 million pounds of turkey on this holiday. And yet I worry about the threat of avian flu. By eating all this turkey, are the humans exposing themselves to the virus? My offer still stands: You may send me your poultry. God willing, I will single-pawedly eliminate this menace.
- And finally, I am thankful that the enemies of Pug Life Ministries are being systematically vanquished. These threats to the pug way of life must fall in line or face the consequences, like Blue Bull. Remember: If you're not with us, you're against us. Take that to heart, Mohamed ElBaradei. I would hate to have to leave you hanging from a banana hook.
May you all have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.