What good fortune you have today

As mother brushed me, I thought back to history's greatest artistic achievements. Renaissance master Michelangelo putting the finishing touches on the sculpted physique of his magnificent David statue. Czech painter Alphonse Mucha, after 18 years of dedication, climbing down his stepladder for the last time to admire his newly completed Slav Epic series. Justin Bieber laying down the backing vocals on his hit song Baby.  

As mother plucked the fur from my brush, I knew that I was about to top them all. The medium was entirely new. The arrangements were painstaking. The final results, spectacular. 

Behold my new series of fur-on-magazine masterpieces, and know that a framed, signed, one-of-a-kind photo of any of them can be yours for only $75, plus shipping and handling.

"Col. Harry Potter, Southern Gentleman"

"Brush with Greatness"

"True Fuzz"

"Katy Furry"

"THE Ohio State Unabomber"

"Oprah Jesus"

"Two Guys, Some Fur and a Pizza Place"

The fur flies

As the temperature rises, my desire to spend time outdoors diminishes. We pugs are a temperate breed. The Texas heat does not suit us, and so we thank Allah for the air conditioning and morning walks that help us through these not-so-dog days of summer. But it is said that every ozone cloud has a silver lining. In this case, that silver lining is piling up on my carpet and furniture as we speak. Thanks to God's brilliant plan, I have shed enough fur in the last week for a batch of 5,000 additional patriotic ribbons. Order yours today.

Support our troops

Press Release

February 21, 2007

Pug Life Patriots Embracing New Vehicle Ribbons

DALLAS -- Pug Life Ministries (NYSE: PUG) announced today the wild success of its new fawn-colored patriotic vehicle ribbons.

The ribbons help motorists remember the troops who are serving in the ongoing war against chew-toy aggression.

Made from 100 percent natural pug fur from Supreme Ayatollah Mugsy, the ministry's leader and spiritual beacon, the ribbons are available in a limited edition first printing of 500.

Some consumers have expressed dismay, unable to find the fast-selling symbols of canine nationalism.

So ministry officials, always attuned to the needs of the marketplace, say they are prepared to tap into the Ayatollah Compound's baseboards to attain enough fur for a second printing of 1,000 additional ribbons.