Holiday gift guide

Hey, everybody. It's me, Wendell. Mugsy put me in charge of the ministry after a recent surgery, though he's going in tomorrow to get his stitches taken out, so he'll be back at the helm soon. I'll be the first to admit that I haven't done a great job filling in as blogger-in-chief -- I've been a little distracted from posting by my newfound howling abilities. Rumor has it that there's even a video floating around of an ayatollah family howl-a-thon, so that may surface at some point if there's enough interest. You may have also heard a rumor that I've been cast as a werewolf in the next Twilight movie, but the screeching girls in "Team Wendell" should know that no contract has been signed as of yet -- though I am willing to show off my abs in exchange for a belly rub.

Anyway, I don't want Mugsy to be mad at me for my lack of blog posts, so I'm gonna try to make up for it now with a new feature, running all this week, that I like to call the Pug Life Ministries Holiday Gift Guide! I've scoured the Web for some of the finest canine-centric gifts so that you don't have to.

So let's get right to it -- here's the first installment!

HUMPING USB DOG

The gift: First off we have the Humping USB Dog, the ultimate gift for the techno-geek dog lover in your life. The 2.25-inch-tall dogs come in either boxer or beagle (and other breeds are pictured, so you may be able to find those if you shop around). Simply plug the amorous pooches into your computer and watch them go to town! These are perfect for both home and office use. And as the seller states, they do require USB power to get turned on.

Cost: $9.99 plus shipping

Where: thinkgeek.com

If you have any ideas for items to include in the gift guide, message Ayatollah Mugsy on Facebook or e-mail him at ayatollahmugsy@gmail.com.

A visit with Rabbi Jake

I have returned to my Texas compound after a sojourn in Oklahoma. While there, I met with the esteemed Rabbi Jake to discuss ways to raise money for the ministry in this down economy. He suggested that I remind last-minute holiday shoppers about the ministry's online gift shop, which can be found here. Our products are made of only the finest materials and are designed to hold up well in any locale, including shantytowns and soup kitchen lines. So spend with confidence, my flock.

While I met with Rabbi Jake in Norman -- home of new Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford, peace be upon him -- my parents drove to Tulsa to attend the birthday party of a 1-year-old. This was their second baby birthday party in less than a month, so clearly their social lives are on the upswing. But once again, they chose not to take Wendell and me along, thus depriving us of an opportunity to take advantage of the baby's messy cake-eating habits.

Exciting news

I have just received word of a major donation to the ministry. A benefactor, moved by the stunning spirituality and star-studded entertainment on display at the recent Pug Life Telethon, wants to open the well of generosity in a way that will benefit not only the ministry, but also you, dear readers. Stay tuned for more details and a formal announcement.