Showing posts with label New Year's Eve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Year's Eve. Show all posts
Thursday, January 01, 2009
New Year's Eve: It's 2009!
The tennis ball has just dropped, and Wendell is going wild! Happy New Year! Peace and belly rubs be upon you, my flock. May Allah bless you all in 2009, and may the family of the Jonas Brothers not sue the ministry.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Year's Eve: The bones come out
Praise Allah! Mother has just broken out a pair of new rawhide bones. 2009 is shaping up to be something truly special.
New Year's Eve: Struggling to stay awake
I am back, my flock. I ... just a moment ... WENDELL! Wake up! It's OK; you can open your eyes now -- Carrot Top is finished. My flock, it seems that my little brother was not impressed by the world's foremost prop comic. I must do something to liven up the party once again. It may be time to break out the Trivial Pursuit, and, God willing, some Beggin' Strips.
New Year's Eve: East Coast celebrates
We have just witnessed the New Year's celebration in New York on TV, along with an unsettling public display of affection by the late Dick Clark. Here in the central time zone, our celebration is only an hour away!
New Year's Eve: Change in plans
Please give a big hand to T.I. -- wasn't he wonderful? And remember: If you donate to the ministry, then we really can have whatever we like.
Moving along, I have some bad news to report. The Jonas Brothers had been scheduled to perform next, but they were apparently devoured by a group of overzealous prepubescent girls while on their way to the compound. All that remains of the trio is a fingerless glove and an ascot. This is tragic, truly tragic, my flock. But we cannot let this spoil our party! The Brothers Jonas would have wanted us to continue. So without further ado, please welcome the one and only Carrot Top and his bag of wacky props.
Moving along, I have some bad news to report. The Jonas Brothers had been scheduled to perform next, but they were apparently devoured by a group of overzealous prepubescent girls while on their way to the compound. All that remains of the trio is a fingerless glove and an ascot. This is tragic, truly tragic, my flock. But we cannot let this spoil our party! The Brothers Jonas would have wanted us to continue. So without further ado, please welcome the one and only Carrot Top and his bag of wacky props.
New Year's Eve: Ringing in 2009
Good evening, my flock. I am emceeing the ministry's New Year's Eve festivities, so I thought I would experiment with some live blogging from the event. It is not quite as ground-breaking as my live blogging from a garage sale, but it should be fun, God willing. We have a big crowd here at the ayatollah compound. Nearly dozens of revelers are drinking non-alcoholic beverages as they await the dawn of a new year. At the stroke of midnight, a tennis ball will drop, and Wendell will no doubt carry it around the house obsessively and attempt to bury it beneath the sofa cushions until mother takes it away. But that is still over an hour away. First, it is time for some live entertainment! Those of you reading along on the blog will have to use your imaginations, since you're not here in my living room to witness the festivities.
And now, I am pleased to present our first entertainer! Performing an edited, ministry-appropriate version of his hit song "Whatever You Like," here is T.I.!
And now, I am pleased to present our first entertainer! Performing an edited, ministry-appropriate version of his hit song "Whatever You Like," here is T.I.!
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