- The typical trick-or-treater may take two pieces of candy.
- The really cutes ones may take three or four. (Life is not fair, my flock.)
- The trick-or-treaters with facial hair, no costumes and deeper voices than father may choose their treat from a specially prepared separate bowl filled with aging packets of Parmesan cheese and crushed red pepper from Domino's Pizza. (Refer to Section 2 of Item No. 2 above.)
- Those who are afraid of two costumed, barking dogs may go home empty-handed. But the bone-chilling scare is on us.
UPDATE: I have found two packets of Arby's Sauce and added them to the bowl for Category 3 above. None may question my generosity.