The Pug Life Medal of Valor is a prize reserved for only the bravest and most heroic among us. Only those who save a life, donate large sums of money to the ministry, or are able to board a plane alongside people in Muslim garb without the slightest hint of nervousness are even considered. And of those, only a select few are deemed worthy of the medal, the highest honor that the ministry bestows to non-family members. (The ministry has no rules against nepotism, as evidenced by my brother Wendell's recent Scholar of the Year award.)
Today, my flock, I am proud to introduce to you a canine who has passed all the tests, proving himself worthy of our respect and admiration. Today, I present the Medal of Valor to the esteemed Kook the Pug. Kook's tale of heroism began in the wee hours of the morning in Denver, Colo. As an apartment fire raged, fed by the mile-high air, the complex's residents slept. All except young Kook. The 8-month-old knew something was terribly wrong. And confined as he was in his cage, he did the only thing he could do: He raised a ruckus. The pug sounded the alarm and rattled his cage until, at around 4 a.m., his human took notice and awoke from his slumber to find the north side of the building engulfed in flames. Illustrating a fundamental difference between humans and dogs, Kook's caretaker said his first reaction was to ensure the safety of a $500 bonus check in his apartment. Once that task was taken care of, he went to warn his neighbors.
Because of Kook's heroism, nobody was injured in the blaze. The fire was contained within one unit of the building, where the owner was away on vacation, and the complex's other residents were able to safely return to their homes.
"Kook is a real hero, as far as I'm concerned," said caretaker Patrick Vigil. I agree. Now why not go spend part of that bonus check on a big stick of rawhide for the pup?