Saturday, September 11, 2010

Florida pastor seeks meeting with Mugsy

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) -- The Rev. Terry Jones revealed the end game of his week-long drama late Friday when he said that his congregation would not burn copies of the Quran if he could get a free vacation and meet with enigmatic canine Muslim leader Ayatollah Mugsy.

Members of Jones' Dove World Outreach Center said the pastor simply wanted to pet the ayatollah's soft fur, as well as that of his younger brother Wendell. Congregants said Jones had not been allowed to have a dog growing up. 

"Actually, this explains a lot," said Gainesville psychiatrist Gloria Redd. 

In Washington, President Barack Obama scheduled a special news conference so that he could audibly breathe a sigh of relief. It was Obama's sixth time addressing the threatened Quran burning in the last five days. Aides said the White House would now consider addressing the nation's high unemployment rate. 

Jones boarded an airplane to Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport late Friday in the hopes of meeting Ayatollah Mugsy at his Dallas-area compound. But officials with the ayatollah's Pug Life Ministries hinted that the pug had no interest in meeting with Jones and, in fact, would rather welcome a circus of fleas to his hackles. 

"We don't even open the front door when those bicycle-riding, book-toting gentlemen in the nice clothing knock," said one top chew toy aide, who quacked on the condition of anonymity. "We're certainly not going to welcome an ill-mannered boor with a silly mustache into the house."

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